"Don't Judge Me!"

“Don’t judge me.” What’s the first thing that comes to mind with these three words? I believe our culture interprets that phrase to mean “Don’t tell me I’m doing something wrong if it makes me feel good.” But from a Biblical perspective, that’s not even close to what was intended.

I’ll be honest: No one likes being told they’re wrong. Even me. But there are good reasons for it. I recently had that phrase “don’t judge me” cross my path and got curious. How are we supposed to respond when someone who professes faith in God says, “Don’t judge me. Only God can do that.”

The first thing to know is it’s much worse to have God judge you for the sin someone else may be trying to draw your attention to. God hates sin and will never look the other way. In fact, if sin goes on long enough, Psalm 145:20 says, “The Lord preserves all who love Him, but the wicked He will destroy.” That’s how He judges sin.

We're getting this phrase wrong.

Modern Christianity says we are supposed to be like God and just love everyone. As gotquestions.org explains it, “Yes, God loves everyone. Because everyone is a sinner, it’s safe to say God loves sinners.” God loves the whole world, but does not approve of or tolerate sin. Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death.” That’s the death that lasts forever in eternal punishment.

Let’s look at it from a parent’s perspective. A good parent loves his or her children but will not let them do anything they want. When a son lies to his parents, of course, they still love him. However, good parents do not have to approve of lying and will, with love, correct the behavior.

It’s really important to define love correctly. Love does not mean applauding a sinful lifestyle or ignoring sin.

If sin leads to death, let me ask a question: Why aren’t we dealing with the topic of sin? Another gotquestions.org post says, “Talk of sin is frowned on today.” Even many pastors avoid making statements that could be seen as remotely condemning or reproachful. Therefore, society says it’s unkind and unloving, so it must not be godly to take a stand against certain activities.

Despite what our culture says, it’s completely possible to love someone and point out his or her error. Love will sometimes require us to point out someone’s error. What if a son is dabbling in illicit drugs and going down a path to nowhere? Isn’t it a loving thing to confront the drug use and offer help?

What if a good friend is flirting with someone who isn’t his wife? What’s more loving? To turn a blind eye and hope for the best or warn the friend of some serious consequences lying in wait? Sin will destroy you. James 1:15 says, “Then desire when it had conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when fully grown, leads to death.”

Here’s where it gets tricky. If pointing out sin comes across as condemnation, we’re doing it wrong. Clearbible.blog says it this way: Don’t condemn other people. It is possible to say something is wrong without tearing apart the people who are doing it.

Pastor Tom, the author of the article, takes this approach: “Look, I want to make sure you know what the Bible says about this. What you do about what the Bible says is not my call. I’m telling you what I know about the Bible, and the rest is between you and God.”

This is not what Christians are called to do. Ever.

I’m a volunteer with JesusCares.com, a Christian chat website where we talk to folks about Jesus. I remember a conversation with a homosexual man who wanted to know if God loved him.

I said, of course, God loves you. But I have to tell you what the Bible says about your lifestyle. So, I shared what God’s Word says about the homosexual lifestyle, pointing out that “These are not my words. I’m just sharing what the Bible says. What you do with it from there is up to you. It’s not my place to make judgment.”

The second thing to remember is you and I are not God. It’s not our place to decide someone’s eternal fate. It is our place to tell others what the Bible says, but we need to stop there. Saying what the Bible says is not condemning someone, no matter how much they may protest. If you are passing along information to help fellow Christians, then you and I have not set ourselves up as judges.

The third thing to remember is who Jesus was talking to. He was addressing people in the culture of first-century Judaism. People in that culture, especially the religious leaders, were prone to call out others and sit in judgment over them for things that weren’t considered sins in the eyes of God.

For example, they made up their own rules about the Sabbath and then judged people for not obeying them. Is it safe to say that Jesus was also telling us not to judge one another over things that aren’t in the Bible, such as man-made regulations?

The point is you can draw a fellow believer’s attention to sinful behavior in their lives. It depends on how you do it. If you hit them over the head with the Bible, it’s probably not going to go well.

Ephesians 4:16 might give us a good definition of judging. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the Head, that is Christ.”

The key words in there are “speaking the truth in love.” You aren’t pointing out the sin in their lives to beat them over the head with the Bible. You’re certainly not doing it because you want to show how much better you are than them.

Biblicalcounseling.com puts it this way: Speaking the truth in love is done for the benefit of one who needs some adjustment to their attitudes or actions. If you’re doing it for the benefit of others, you’re doing something right.

Let me leave you with James 5:19-20, which says, “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”