Why Doesn't He Answer Already?

Like many people these days, my family has been going through a rough patch during the last three months. In fact, it’s been some of the rougher days we’ve had in many years. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time on my knees asking God to intervene, but nothing has happened. Have you ever found yourself in that situation?

We all have. Sometimes, God appears silent. Your prayers seem to be bumping on the ceiling and not getting through. But God is supposed to be good, right?

How about Mark 11:24? “Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” But I still haven’t received it yet, so what gives? Is he not listening?

Well, let’s dig into the Bible a bit. It turns out that even some of the Biblical heroes called out to God with significant needs and were met, at least for a time, with silence.  Gotquestions.org points out that the most obvious example is Job. In his distress, it seemed as though God was nowhere to be found. “If I go east, He is not there. If I go to the west, I do not find Him. When He is at work in the north, I do not see Him. When He turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of Him.” (Job 23:8-9)

He's far from the only one. Have you read Psalms? Psalm 10:1 says, “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” And Psalm 44:24 adds, “Why do you hide your face and forget our misery and oppression?”

Oh, those unanswered prayers. They hurt, but there may be a very good reason for it.

Okay, I tell you those stories to show you and remind myself that we aren’t the only ones who have had prayers appear to go unanswered. Literally every professing believer in Jesus has felt that way at one time or another.

So exactly why doesn’t He answer prayers? Maybe we should start by looking at the different types of answers He has been known to give in the past?

Based on 55-plus years of living and some extensive study, it appears God has three answers for you and me when we pray and ask for something specific. The answers are yes, no, and my least favorite one: wait. Crosswalk.com encourages us that because He can see what’s eternally best for us and what’s coming down the road (which we cannot do), it’s a good idea to trust His judgment.

“Don’t second-guess Him,” Crosswalk says. “His timing is always better than ours, and if we are walking uprightly and asking for something truly good, then Psalm 84:11 says God is not withholding after all. It’s just not the right time.

“The Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” (Psalm 84:11)

Can I logically assume that if I’m not seeing an answer, could it be I’m not asking for something “upright and good?” The answer to that might unfortunately be yes.

I hope that's what's happening in my case!

Why are you asking for that specific request from God? Billygraham.org said our motive for making a request to God must be pure. If your prayer is self-centered, concerned with satisfying your own desires, then God cannot, in faithfulness, grant your requests.

“When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (James 4:3)

What if you were like me and asking for intervention on behalf of other people who found themselves in a tough spot through no fault of their own? Here’s an answer that I may not have considered much in recent days.

What if God has something better for those people I was praying for? What if He has something actually better than what you and I are asking for?

Cindi McMenamin of Crosswalk said this is her favorite reason why God says no. However, we (and by we, I mean “I”) often forget that. Because He is good and knows what’s best for us, and doesn’t want us to settle, God sometimes says no or closes a door for us because He has something immeasurably better that we haven’t even thought to ask for.

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20)

Here’s where it gets serious for me, especially after the last few months. Gotquestions.org has an important reminder that prayer is not our way of getting God to do what we want. Our prayers should be focused on things that honor and glorify God and reflect what the Bible clearly reveals God’s will to be.

What if God’s will means His idea of a “good thing” might be different than yours (and mine)? You may be praying for restoration for others, a spouse, a job you’ve been hoping for, or even more money. Those all seem to be good things, don’t they?

God’s opinion might be different. Just because something might make you happy doesn’t mean it’s good for you, especially from an eternal perspective. And God has our eternal best at heart.

Let’s look at it from an earthly father’s perspective. We want our children to be happy, but not at the expense of their health, so we don’t give them candy with every meal. We want them to hold down a good job, but we don’t do jobs for them growing up because we want them to learn responsibility. We teach them boundaries, don’t we? Staying within the boundaries of right and wrong gives them the best chance to grow up as solid people.

As much as we do that for our kids, we’re not even close to perfect parents. Just imagine how much God loves us and does the same thing. He sets boundaries and closes doors to keep us out of places we may think we want to go, but will lead to long-term problems or challenges.

Crosswalk says to, “Trust God, that He knows what’s best for you. And while you and I may be heartbroken at His no, He may very well be sparing you a bigger heartbreak down the road.”

In Matthew 7:11, Jesus said, “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.”

The big question is, can we trust Him anyway, even when He doesn’t answer the way we want Him to? Job trusted God, even with everything that had been taken from him. It seemed to work out pretty well for him.

Even Jesus knew a little about what unanswered prayer felt like. He asked God to take away the possibility of crucifixion from Him. But He also said, “Thy will be done.” Maybe that’s where we should start? Maybe that’s where I should start?

“The Lord is like a Father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him.” (Psalm 103:13)

“Father, your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.”